Toward the end of The Hobbit, as Bilbo is returning to the Shire after his adventure, he breaks into poetry. Tolkien writes: “Gandalf looked at him. ‘My dear Bilbo!’ he said. ‘Something is the matter with you! You are not the hobbit that you were.’” That’s what a good adventure does to you.
Matt and I celebrated our eighth anniversary on December 18, and while we have not traveled to distant lands to evict crafty dragons from treasure-filled mountains, we are on an adventure together, and it’s a good one. We are not the same people we were when we said our vows and started out. We haven’t done anything spectacular, but in the simple acts of living together, day in, day out, we have talked to, laughed at, argued with, teased, surprised, frustrated, inspired, encouraged, bewildered, provoked, amused, embarrassed, consoled, advised, blushed for, cried with, and generally learned to rely on each other, and in doing so, we have changed. Living with Matt, I have become more compassionate and less fearful, more patient and less anxious, more articulate and less emotionally overwrought. Living with me, Matt has also become more articulate, but in his case, this has led to showing more emotion rather than less. He has also become more social, more focused, and more intentional about the things he does. We are both more thoughtful, more patient, more mature, more loving.
But ours is not the sort of love that spills out in public affection or terms of endearment. You wouldn’t spot us out in public and think, “They’re so cute!” or “They’re made for each other.” We don’t usually get date nights. We haven’t been on a vacation with just the two of us in several years. I don’t think we’ve eaten by candlelight since the power went out in one of our first apartments in 2005. There’s nothing wrong with candle-lit romance. It’s just not us.
Our wedding vows, written by my parents for their wedding thirty years ago, say, “I pledge myself to you alone with a devotion that will increase as we walk together through sorrow and joy, darkness and sunlight, and all of the circumstances of life that God may send our way.” And that’s what we do. We walk together. May God grant us many, many miles ahead.
Matt and I celebrated our eighth anniversary on December 18, and while we have not traveled to distant lands to evict crafty dragons from treasure-filled mountains, we are on an adventure together, and it’s a good one. We are not the same people we were when we said our vows and started out. We haven’t done anything spectacular, but in the simple acts of living together, day in, day out, we have talked to, laughed at, argued with, teased, surprised, frustrated, inspired, encouraged, bewildered, provoked, amused, embarrassed, consoled, advised, blushed for, cried with, and generally learned to rely on each other, and in doing so, we have changed. Living with Matt, I have become more compassionate and less fearful, more patient and less anxious, more articulate and less emotionally overwrought. Living with me, Matt has also become more articulate, but in his case, this has led to showing more emotion rather than less. He has also become more social, more focused, and more intentional about the things he does. We are both more thoughtful, more patient, more mature, more loving.
But ours is not the sort of love that spills out in public affection or terms of endearment. You wouldn’t spot us out in public and think, “They’re so cute!” or “They’re made for each other.” We don’t usually get date nights. We haven’t been on a vacation with just the two of us in several years. I don’t think we’ve eaten by candlelight since the power went out in one of our first apartments in 2005. There’s nothing wrong with candle-lit romance. It’s just not us.
Our wedding vows, written by my parents for their wedding thirty years ago, say, “I pledge myself to you alone with a devotion that will increase as we walk together through sorrow and joy, darkness and sunlight, and all of the circumstances of life that God may send our way.” And that’s what we do. We walk together. May God grant us many, many miles ahead.
I love this!
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